Friday, December 30, 2011

Supposed to be There not Here

Pin It Now! The kids and I were supposed to be driving up to Winslow, Arizona with Daddy today for a family mission trip to an orphanage.  But, both my boys have been sick all week, and though on the mend, they haven't completely recovered.  So, I am being nurse-mom for the weekend instead of mission-trip-worker.

 It would have been my very first real mission trip. 

As my hubby pulled out of the driveway this morning, I, still in my pajamas, stood in the kitchen juicing tangelos listening to my daughter blow her daddy kisses through the window.  I couldn't help but rehash my thoughts of the past couple of days, "Why, Lord? Why would You keep us from going?  Isn't true religion helping widows and orphans?  Am I not worthy enough?  Have I complained too much about the work You have me doing already?  Why would You let my kids get sick at a time like this?  Why didn't You miraculously heal them?"

A verse came to mind to get me back on track--"In his heart a man plans his course, but the Lord determines his steps."  I remembered that I wasn't going to waste time and energy on questions like that.  I was going to rest in God's sovereign will and accept His plan and purpose even though I didn't understand and still don't and may never.

I can remember the first time my pastor mentioned this particular opportunity and my heart quickened.  I couldn't wait to see if Mark thought it would be a good idea for us to go.  I figured it was an answer to a prayer I'd been praying for our family--that God would bring about ways for us to serve others together.  Ways that pushed us beyond our comfort zone, especially me.  So, it is still kind of hard to understand why we couldn't be together serving this weekend, but I am accepting it.  And maybe that's what I am supposed to get out of this--to continue to grow and learn to accept God's way and have peace about it even when I don't like it or get it.  (Two of my favorite verses come to mind here--Proverbs 3:5-6)

Thanks to technology, Mark texted me a picture of the sweet orphan we bought presents for.  One of the gifts was a necklace in the shape of the first letter of her name.  Shiloh has one just like it in the shape of an "S" of course.  Wish I could have been there in person to give her a hug, but a picture will have to do.

Like my pastor's wife said, "There will be many more opportunities . . . "  I am so thankful for such a wonderful church family and can't wait to serve with them in the future!

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