Tuesday, September 23, 2014

Journey to Pastor's Wife {Part 4}

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Continued from Journey to Pastor's Wife Part 3.

So, dinner. December 18, 2013. I was looking forward to it but admit I was somewhat apprehensive. I couldn't help but think that something was going to get brought up about the future, specifically the part our family might possibly play in Calvary East Valley's future.

You have to understand that this meeting was coming at a time when my husband had reached the conclusion that maybe the pastoral calling wasn't meant to be after all, at least as far as he could tell. He was ready to focus his thoughts, time, energy, and efforts into pursuing opportunities where he currently worked if that was God's will. His job was going well, and there was even a slight possibility of a move in our future. A move that included pine trees, cooler weather, and fall colors I tell ya! I was on board and at peace, ready for the emotional roller coaster ride to end and looking forward to what 2014 had to offer, even if it meant staying in Queen Creek, AZ. (I really don't mind the desert too much.)

All I wanted, though, was a straight, even path. No unexpected twists, turns, or forks in the road. (And I was so fine with the pastor thing being a thing of the past.)

Looking back on this eventful meeting, there must've been a glorious host of angels gathered on heavenly white clouds nudging each other into the ready-to-take-action position knowing that the poor girl who was about to experience a life-changing dinner was going to need some serious supernatural help after devouring an entire plate of yummy quesadillas. And it wasn't going to be from indigestion. It was going to be from the revelation that our pastor and his wife wanted us to pray about Mark (hubby) coming on as not just a worship pastor but as an assistant pastor in the near future. The only time frame we were given was ~ soon.

Yikes! our peaceful path had just turned into that dreaded fork in the road. Noooooooooo! My word for 2014 was taking on a whole different meaning!

I knew right away that my husband was excited. It was like a burden had been lifted from his shoulders and dropped onto mine. What he thought had been buried had never really been buried by God. Only dormant, waiting for the timing to be perfect.

Christmas came and went, and we found ourselves crossing the threshold of 2014 with a fork in the road to confront. This was no light matter, so we dedicated the first of the year to serious prayer. Even though I wasn't happy about the turn of events, I did want God's will to prevail. It really didn't take long for us to know in what direction God was leading us: full-time ministry.

Sometimes knowing God's will doesn't make it any easier to accept. I think of Moses and his burning bush experience. Couldn't get any clearer than that, but Moses didn't seem too excited to jump into his role as deliverer of God's people. Well, that's how I felt. I wasn't thrilled about jumping into the role of pastor's wife.

In the weeks and months that followed, I struggled. I threw fits (in the privacy of my own room) worthy of a spanking. I cried and sometimes vented my frustrations. (I am so thankful for a kind and patient husband.) It's not what I wanted, but I knew it was what God wanted. So, not only was I struggling with the fact that I might end up as a pastor's wife, but I was struggling with the ugly truth that it was something I didn't want but should want.

I'm thankful for a kind and patient God, too. He gave me two confirmations pretty early on that helped me accept the fact that this was His will for our lives whether I wanted it or not, and that I needed to pray that He would help me receive this calling with joy. The first confirmation came through my sister-in-law who said she had a dream that we chose ministry.

The second confirmation came through a lady at church who knew nothing of our situation or the decision that we were contemplating. One morning at church, she and I were talking and she said something like, One day when you're a pastor's wife . . .  I didn't hear the rest of her sentence, because I was like, "What made you say that?" She said that Mark was really gifted and that she saw ministry in our future. Whoa! I had chills.

I knew God was lovingly confirming His calling. I just wish I could say that from that point on I've cheerfully embraced it with my whole heart. *Sigh* Yeah, that would be a lie. And I don't want to lie.

Well, about 8 months after the life-changing December dinner, we found out on August 12, Mullin's birthday, that Mark would officially become Calvary East Valley's assistant pastor on September 2, 2014. The news was announced at church on August 31. It had been almost 30 years since he'd felt God calling him to be a pastor.

And so ends my journey to becoming a pastor's wife.

I am sure I will continue to write about my journey as a pastor's wife, though. Goodness, I need another blog . . .

1 comment:

Heather@Cultivated Lives said...

That was absolutely beautiful. God's ways are mysterious and wonderful and challenging all at the same time.


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