Literacy Musing Mondays May 15-20

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Welcome to Literacy Musing Mondays May 15-20!

Quote

 

Question

If you're married, how many anniversaries have you celebrated?

My Answer: On May 10th, my husband and I celebrated a major marriage milestone - 20 years! I don't think either one of us were prepared for how difficult the journey would be. But, over the years I've learned to enjoy the good times and persevere through the bad times. I always go back to the Christina Rossetti quote that I recorded so long ago in my wedding album. We're one, and with God we can journey on!

I'd love to know your answers! Please share in the comments. :)

May ~ So Much to Love About Spring (and other stuff)

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Fairy garden love

My daughter and I started a fairy garden several years ago. It's so fun to make it different each spring and fall.

Regular garden love

Love the bench my hubby brought home from his outing at Merchant Square in Chandler. :)

Mother's Day celebrations

Breakfast and shopping with my mom and sister.

Flowers and chocolate from my sweet kids.

Celebrating our 19th anniversary

Peach picking and peach cooking

Apple picking from my own trees

Son officially taller than dad

Oh, this dog!

Going to the dog park has become a regular part of our lives. We go several times a week. It's nice to have a place where Kylo can run and sniff and play without constantly being told "No!" for something or other.

For the most part, Kylo plays nice, but he's still so young and can be annoying at times. ;) Here, though, these 2 dogs are having bunches of good fun.

One thing I just don't get is when people bring their small dogs to the big/active dog side and then get upset because your big/active dog is acting like a big/active dog. Hmmmmm.

I dared to try the pool again, and this time it was a success! Kylo didn't drink gallons of water and played a little less crazy.

Poor thing just plain tuckered out on one of his longer walks with Shiloh and me. We let him rest for a bit, and I even tried carrying him. That boy's gotten heavy!!!

Goodness, the sweetness of this girl and her doggie make me melt. :)

Memorial Day weekend Sunday drive to Sedona

The drive was beautiful.

But there was lots of traffic!

So green and peaceful and lovely in this spot.

I know. A silly car selfie + a cute little photo bomber.

Kylo is such an awesome car rider, thank goodness. :)

When he wasn't sleeping, he was enjoying the car ride. The only times he was a bit difficult were when we had to take bathroom breaks or get food. We'd take turns staying in the jeep with him, but he'd still whine and try to pace a bit waiting for whoever was gone to get back.

Too bad we weren't able to hike any trails due to overcrowding and no parking. Memories: trying to find somewhere to eat our subway lunch and ending up in a Wal-greens parking lot; Venti frappuchinos + one puppuchino. ;)

19 Years and Counting {The Joypain of Marriage}

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It's been 19 years since my groom sung me down the aisle. 

No dry eyes in the chapel that day. Except for mine. It was a beautiful, sunny Saturday morning, and my smile and hope for the future matched the perfectly pure, cerulean sky. Even when my groom's voice shook ever so slightly and his eyes filled with tears, I didn't cry. I was too excited. 

My day had arrived. The day many girls spend their lives dreaming about. I'd finally become a precious bride.

You might be wondering why I didn't choose a more wedding-ish photo for this song, but I think this one represents the long road of marriage much better. The marital road can be a bit rocky and dusty, and maybe even a little barren at times. The aisle you walk as a beaming bride is kind of like starting out on the yellow brick road from the Wizard of Oz. It's beautiful and bright and nicely paved at first. Eventually, though, the road becomes marked with broken, loose, and even missing bricks which create holes that are perfect for tripping traveling feet. That same road also passes through dark, foreboding forests and jungles in which terrifying beasts abide. Sound like marriage much?

On that beautiful, sunny, forever-ago day, my satin-slippered feet took those very first steps onto the aisle that forever changed my life. The man who was about to become my husband had written and was now singing those beautiful words with all the love that was in him, oblivious to the reality of how hard it would be to live them out. Not because he was a terrible person - quite the opposite - but because marriage is just hard. The mystery of turning two into one was (and still is) far more complicated than we could have ever dreamed.

And so began our journey of the joypain of marriage.

You see, it didn't take long for clouds to roll in and turn my cerulean sky a gloomy shade of gray. Quite frankly, the storms of life threatened to crumble my happily ever after.

It didn't take long for my smile to fade and for my hopes and dreams to match the somber sky.

It didn't take long for me to understand why so many marriages end up in divorce.

Marriage can bring out the worst in people can't it? The very traits that draw two people together and make them fall in love in the first place turn into the very things that drive them CrAzY!! If you are married, you probably know exactly what I'm talking about. I'm guessing no examples are even needed here! ;)

Weaknesses or even just natural tendencies are magnified to the max as well. I'm naturally pretty selfish and vocal, and if it was humanly possible for ears to smoke, mine would. My husband, on the other hand, tends to be more independent and withdrawn. I'm telling you, this guy could probably be happy living in a tent in the middle of nowhere as long as it was green and woodsy. Of course I could go on and on, especially when it comes to all of my shortcomings and epic fails, but the idea here is that these things can drive deep wedges and build massive walls between two people pretty quickly.

Of course, I'm barely scratching the surface here, but I guess my point is that seemingly light-hearted, nit picky things mixed together with unexpected hardship and sorrow can make for a not-so-tasty marriage recipe. I write with tear-filled eyes as I think back on some of the storms we've weathered together. We had no idea how long life's road would truly be as we said our vows to one another, vows written from the depths of our very own hearts. We meant each and every word, but trials and tribulation have a way of stealing joy.

Trials aren't all bad. I believe God uses them to sanctify, to make us more like Him. Trials can produce strength and build character, especially when our focus is on heavenly things. My husband and I have had to learn that marriage means dying to self daily. I think I've failed in this department more than I've triumphed, but I'm thankful for God's mercy and grace and patience. I'm thankful for my husband's mercy and grace and patience, too.

I'm thankful for the joys in our marriage journey that have helped to balance out the pain. Building our first home. Having our first baby and then adding two more down the road. Celebrations. Good friends. Long walks. A vacation or two. Just to name a few. While difficult, marriage hasn't been all prickles and stings. :) If your marriage has been filled with mostly rainbow skies and daisy fields, wow, what a blessing! Be grateful. And feel free to leave all of your tried and true marriage tips in the comment section. :)

We've made it 19 years not because we've got this but because we've held on to our no-matter-what commitment first to God and then to each other. It does take two, though, for commitment to happen. While the road has indeed been long, I'm beyond grateful that my husband has kept his promise to love me, and cherish me, and never let me walk alone.

We planted a bonita ash tree in our front yard in honor of our 19 years of marriage, and because the house we bought didn't have one. We hope to start a new tradition of taking an anniversary pic every year in front of this tree. It will be fun to watch the tree grow tall and strong but not so fun to watch ourselves grow old. May we celebrate 19 more years and even more! (Please excuse the no makeup and weird shadows. We hired a 10-year-old photographer. Thank you.)

Before I go, I wanted to share the sweet gift my husband's grandma cross-stitched for us shortly after our wedding. So special.

May the 19th year be our best yet . . .

May be linked to one or more of the following link parties.

What's Your Love Language?

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Both of my boys convinced me that Good Mythical Morning needed to be a part of our morning homeschool routine this year. I figured, Why not? It can actually be quite educational.

Anyway, the other day Rhett and Link, Good Mythical Morning's hosts, were talking about The Five Love Languages, and it reminded me of the time that seems forever ago that I bought the book and learned what my own main love language was. (And my hubby's, too.) We are still opposites, by the way!

Well, there was a link at the end of the morning show to take a love language quiz, so my hubby and I figured we'd take it again just for fun. I predicted what mine would be, and let me just tell ya, they're exactly the same as they were way back when.

Here are my results:

10	Receiving Gifts
7	Acts of Service
7	Quality Time
5	Words of Affirmation
1	Physical Touch

I guess that phrase, "You can't buy me love" just doesn't ring true with me. ;) I'm kidding. I believe that in a healthy relationship, one should be exercising all of the above ways in which to show love. I mean, if I had a husband who treated me like dirt, never lifted a finger to help, beat me down with his words but then turned around and bought me a gift to make up for the lack of love in other areas, well, that wouldn't fly. I do love gifts, though!

My boys even took the quiz, so it was neat seeing what their main love languages were. If you've never even heard of a love language or have never take a quiz, do so. It's fun! And then if you want to know more, buy the book. It goes into much more detail about each love language.



{Thank you for using my affiliate link}

After you take the quiz, let me know what your love language is!

P.S. You don't have to be married to take the quiz. It's for anyone and everyone. :)

Sharing on WFMW, Funtastic Friday

Happy 17 Years

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Dear Hubby,

I'm so thankful for your steadfast love and faithful friendship. May God bless us with many more years. :) Love you!

 

 

*A special thanks to my son, Lincoln, for helping me with my "animated" card. :)

True Love

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Falling in love is easy.

Staying in love is a whole different story.

Why?

Why is staying in love harder than falling in love?

Well, I am no love expert, but I think it might have something to do with the fact that we base love on our feelings. Good feelings. Butterfly feelings. Romantic feelings. And if we're not feeling these feelings anymore, we conclude that we must not be in love anymore.

And then we believe the lie from the pit that we deserve better. That God would want us to be happy.

Covenants are no longer taken seriously. Till death do us part means nothing, and we divorce due to irreconcilable differences. Instead of mending what's broken, we discard those we pledged to love in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer. And then we move on to something new. Something we think we deserve. Something that gives us good feelings. Butterfly feelings. Romantic feelings.

Selfish love at its finest.

I don't think God wants us to be miserable, in fact, based on His Word, I can say that I know He desires for us to be content, thankful, and joyful no matter what our circumstances may be. Most of us really don't want to put in the extra effort to stay in love though, and we really don't want what God wants. We want what we want.

I am not discounting that there are legitimate, Biblical reasons for getting divorced, and we can't control our spouses. However, statistics are far too out of whack even in the Christian community. Sadly, something is very wrong.

Another reason it's hard to stay in love is because maybe we weren't even "in love" in the first place. I think it's safe to assume that the world has no idea of what real love even is. Many mistake lust for love. I think there are WAY more people who are in lust instead of in love.

You find someone attractive. They make you feel all fluttery inside. Your needs and your wants are being met at the moment. Boom! You must be in love.

Not quite.

Love involves considering others interests above your own interests. This. Is. Hard. Especially after you say, "I do."

I am naturally selfish. True love does not come naturally. I need supernatural intervention.

What is true love according to God's Word?

*Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." ~Matthew 22: 37-40

*"As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love." ~2 John:6b

*"This is my command: Love each other." ~John 15:17

To truly love is to choose to obey God's commands. We must choose to love even when we don't feel like loving.

*"And this is love: that we walk in obedience to His commands." ~2 John:6a

Love is patient.
Love is kind.
Love does not envy.
Love does not boast.
Love is not proud.
Love is not rude.
Love is not self-seeking.
Love is not easily angered.
Love keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil.
Love rejoices with the truth.
Love always protects.
Love always trusts.
Love always hopes.
Love always perseveres.
Love never fails.
{1 Corinthians 13}

Selfless love at its finest.

Of course there are tons more verses about love. This list is barely the tip of the iceberg. The Bible is the place to go to find out about true love and what it means. The world is sorely lacking in this area.

I fall so short of the above list. Thank God for His mercy and forgiveness. My hubby and I aren't still together because our marriage has been easy breezy. We're together because we take our vows seriously, we want to please God, and ultimately we really do want to love each other.

I can't say that the lovey dovey feelings are always front and center. Sometimes, it seems as though they've been misplaced, but we can't rely on our day to day feelings to tell us to love one another. Feelings are fickle. They come and go.

I believe God's Word is reliable and by obeying His command to love one another, the feelings will eventually follow.

But in the meantime, LOVE even if you don't feel like it.

I am so thankful that my hubby has been faithful to love me through the worst of times and the best of times. I am thankful that his first love is God, so that in turn he can truly love me. I am thankful that he chooses daily to continue this journey of life with me no matter where it leads. True love is exhausting at times, but I am so glad we've stayed the course and have been able to see the blessings and rewards of staying committed to each other.

I think we are celebrating our 19th Valentine's Day together today. May we celebrate many more! :)

I love you, Babe. Happy Valentine's Day.

P.S. And thanks for the beautiful, bright, sparkly flowers (that are dyed) that made my kitchen so cheerful this week! Oh, and for the yummy M&M's, too.

There Must Be Something in the Water

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About a week ago, my hubby came home from spending a week in Tennessee at the river with his dad and siblings. He's been doing this for the past few years now, and I am used to maybe getting some flowers upon his return. But a new lap top and 20 lbs. of grass-fed beef, too?

For real, he came home with a beautiful bouquet, and then he announced that he'd ordered me my very own lap top. And then, he started talking about farmer's markets and grass-fed beef. Seriously.

Um, somethin' must've been in that river water, cuz I was like, whoa! I had to check and make sure the right husband had just walked through my door. ;)

A week later, these flowers are still sitting in the center of my table. Some are starting to get a little droopy, but I don't think I could ever tire of receiving fresh flowers from my hubby!

Even though it's been somewhat frustrating learning how to get around in Windows 8, I am feeling extremely blessed to have my very own computer! It was becoming more and more difficult trying to share one computer with 5 people. Since the kids are getting older, they are using it so much more - for school, games, music, etc. It's even white to match my Windows phone. :)

 

Wow, and the whole grass-fed beef thing was quite a shock. I'd talked a while back about how I'd love to be able to buy this kind of meat, but it was just way too expensive for me to fit into the food budget. I've even cut back on buying raw milk because of the expense.

 

So, our weekend date was to Superstition Ranch Market where we bought lots of fruits and veggies for super cheap. Even bought three kinds of produce I'd never had before: golden honey dew, lemon drop melon, and rainier cherries. And then we went to a farmer's market in Gilbert where Double Check Ranch sells their meat. And my hubby bought some for me. :)

 

Thanks, Babe, for spoiling me last weekend. I love you! I'm looking forward to our healthy smoothie date this weekend . . .

Marriage is a Walk in a Field of Daisies . . .

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www.pixaby.com

. . . until you chance upon a hidden snake in your path. Or two or three. Or more.


Ya know, I really didn't have a clue that my fairy tale ideal of marriage would be blown away so easily as a pile of dead leaves. And so soon, too. I guess I have to admit, I was naive. I thought that because we were doing things "differently" it'd be easier for us.

My husband and I are celebrating 16 years of marriage tomorrow, and I must say we've battled quite a few snakes in our little field. I wish I could say we've managed to shoo 'em all away or better yet blow their brains out, but a few have managed to rear their ugly heads and sink their venomous fangs deep into our very souls. Poison spreads fast if you didn't already know.

Over the years, I have come to realize that snakes are as much a part of fields as problems are a part of marriage. You won't ever be able to completely get rid of them. The reality for me is that marriage has been hard, and sometimes life gives you lemons and there's no sugar to make lemonade.

That's just life.

So, what's the remedy for sour lemonade and snake bites? Well, as for sour lemonade, you just have to learn to like it sour. (Just kidding.) As for the snake bites, there are quite a few healing balms: perseverance, faith, hope, love, forgiveness, obedience, trust, steadfastness, and did I say perseverance? The only catch is that these balms cannot come from our own hands, but only from our Heavenly Father's. When He applies the soothing balms, the poison that was meant to cripple can be used make us stronger.

I am so thankful that I married a man whose first love is God through the grace and mercy of our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. Seriously, if we weren't standing upon The ROCK, we'd be on that other ground -- the sinking sand one.

I am thankful that my husband is committed to me no matter what and that I "will never, ever walk alone." He'll be with me on this journey (and unfortunately the ever faithful snakes will be, too) until death do us part.

My prayer is that somehow even with all of our faults, our marriage can be a testament to God's grace and glory. Sixteen years ago, I wrote a sweet quote by Christina Rossetti in my wedding album, and I'll write it again today . . .

Happy Anniversary to us.


* I just love my leaf-heart photo. I saw this pile of leaves one morning after a little desert storm, and I ran back inside to grab my phone/camera. I immediately thought of my marriage and how the storms may come and go, but our love will remain steadfast. :)

In Honor of My 15th Wedding Anniversary

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To celebrate my 15th wedding anniversary, I thought I'd try on the dress again. Haven't slipped it on since May 10, 1997.

Well, quite a few things were a little different from that beautiful, perfect May day. ;)

* My dress actually fit 15 years ago. Some women complain of their hips spreading after giving birth, um, for me it was my rib cage. I would have LOVED to have acquired some hips. Basically what I am saying is that I couldn't get my dress zipped up all the way. Fun memories, though, of Shiloh and Lincoln trying with all their might to get me all zipped up!

* This time around I wore earrings Lincoln picked out for me when he was just a chubby, little guy.

* My bouquet was handpicked by my sweet daughter. Yellow Lantana and fuchsia Bougainvillea.

* I scrambled to get ready in just minutes before it was time to start homeschooling at 8:00 sharp.

* Didn't have a professional photographer - Lincoln happily complied, though. Even added encouraging words like, "Nice one!" "That looks good."  Such a good son!

* These pics were taken in my AZ backyard instead of at Bellevue Baptist Church in TN.

*Nobody was there to tell me to "hold my flowers down." I remember 15 years ago the photographers kept telling me that!

Had to do some work on these photos since the backyard lighting wasn't that great and I don't think Lincoln's hand remained steady throughout the shots! Bless his heart.

Sweet Shiloh tried to fix my train and fan it out in front - almost is good enough, though. :)

 

15 years ago, we sat in the Bronco all married and ready to go to Jerry's Sno Cone and then on to the quaint little spec on the map - Georgetown, Colorado.

Happy Anniversary, Babe!