Falling in love is easy.
Staying in love is a whole different story.
Why?
Why is staying in love harder than falling in love?
Well, I am no love expert, but I think it might have something to do with the fact that we base love on our feelings. Good feelings. Butterfly feelings. Romantic feelings. And if we're not feeling these feelings anymore, we conclude that we must not be in love anymore.
And then we believe the lie from the pit that we deserve better. That God would want us to be happy.
Covenants are no longer taken seriously. Till death do us part means nothing, and we divorce due to irreconcilable differences. Instead of mending what's broken, we discard those we pledged to love in sickness and in health, for richer or for poorer. And then we move on to something new. Something we think we deserve. Something that gives us good feelings. Butterfly feelings. Romantic feelings.
Selfish love at its finest.
I don't think God wants us to be miserable, in fact, based on His Word, I can say that I know He desires for us to be content, thankful, and joyful no matter what our circumstances may be. Most of us really don't want to put in the extra effort to stay in love though, and we really don't want what God wants. We want what we want.
I am not discounting that there are legitimate, Biblical reasons for getting divorced, and we can't control our spouses. However, statistics are far too out of whack even in the Christian community. Sadly, something is very wrong.
Another reason it's hard to stay in love is because maybe we weren't even "in love" in the first place. I think it's safe to assume that the world has no idea of what real love even is. Many mistake lust for love. I think there are WAY more people who are in lust instead of in love.
You find someone attractive. They make you feel all fluttery inside. Your needs and your wants are being met at the moment. Boom! You must be in love.
Not quite.
Love involves considering others interests above your own interests. This. Is. Hard. Especially after you say, "I do."
I am naturally selfish. True love does not come naturally. I need supernatural intervention.
What is true love according to God's Word?
*Jesus replied: " 'Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.' This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: 'Love your neighbor as yourself.' All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments." ~Matthew 22: 37-40
*"As you have heard from the beginning, his command is that you walk in love." ~2 John:6b
*"This is my command: Love each other." ~John 15:17
To truly love is to choose to obey God's commands. We must choose to love even when we don't feel like loving.
*"And this is love: that we walk in obedience to His commands." ~2 John:6a
Love is patient.
Love is kind.
Love does not envy.
Love does not boast.
Love is not proud.
Love is not rude.
Love is not self-seeking.
Love is not easily angered.
Love keeps no record of wrongs.
Love does not delight in evil.
Love rejoices with the truth.
Love always protects.
Love always trusts.
Love always hopes.
Love always perseveres.
Love never fails.
{1 Corinthians 13}
Selfless love at its finest.
Of course there are tons more verses about love. This list is barely the tip of the iceberg. The Bible is the place to go to find out about true love and what it means. The world is sorely lacking in this area.
I fall so short of the above list. Thank God for His mercy and forgiveness. My hubby and I aren't still together because our marriage has been easy breezy. We're together because we take our vows seriously, we want to please God, and ultimately we really do want to love each other.
I can't say that the lovey dovey feelings are always front and center. Sometimes, it seems as though they've been misplaced, but we can't rely on our day to day feelings to tell us to love one another. Feelings are fickle. They come and go.
I believe God's Word is reliable and by obeying His command to love one another, the feelings will eventually follow.
But in the meantime, LOVE even if you don't feel like it.
I am so thankful that my hubby has been faithful to love me through the worst of times and the best of times. I am thankful that his first love is God, so that in turn he can truly love me. I am thankful that he chooses daily to continue this journey of life with me no matter where it leads. True love is exhausting at times, but I am so glad we've stayed the course and have been able to see the blessings and rewards of staying committed to each other.
I think we are celebrating our 19th Valentine's Day together today. May we celebrate many more! :)
I love you, Babe. Happy Valentine's Day.
P.S. And thanks for the beautiful, bright, sparkly flowers (that are dyed) that made my kitchen so cheerful this week! Oh, and for the yummy M&M's, too.
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