Longing.
That nagging feeling of just think of what you could be doing if your kids went to school creeps into my being. It lingers until a new homeschool schedule and daily routine has been established.
Trust me, it makes me feel pretty guilty. But I just can't seem to help it when I hear the roar of the yellow school bus outside my window, and see all of the adorable back-to-school pictures of my friends' kids all decked out with new backpacks, new clothes, and bright, big smiles.
As I am up to my ears with new curriculum, endless amounts of reading, and piles of papers to grade, I can't seem to help thinking of all the things I could be doing:
- Cleaning my house all in one day
- Tackling all those cute Pinterest projects
- Sending manuscripts to publishers
- Writing new stories
- Cooking up new and exciting meals
- Laundry and grocery shopping during the week
- Saving weekends for just the fun stuff
- Blogging
- Just to name a few . . .
Sometimes I feel as if I am missing out on things like:
- Peace and quiet
- Connecting with friends
- Knowing what it feels like to welcome my kids home after not seeing them all day
- Making money
- Again, just to name a few . . .
Yeah, in black and white it looks pretty lame, huh?! The word selfish comes to mind. Not only that, I know homeschooling is what God has called me to do. So, it really doesn't matter how I feel about it!
Right about now I need someone to slap me upside the head with a big, ole bag of peanut M&Ms and say, "HELLO, what better thing could you be doing than investing in your kids all day long? It won't last forever, and you'll never regret it! There will be plenty of time for all those other things later."
This second week of homeschooling is going better than last week, but it just takes about 3-4 weeks for me to really get back into the swing of things. By then my mind will be renewed with thoughts of I wouldn't want to be doing anything else!
I am almost afraid to ask, but can any other homeschool mamas relate? Or is it just me? Surely I can't be the only one who looks longingly at big, yellow school buses every now and then!!!
8 comments:
Yes, I can relate, although I'm thankful those feeling don't come as often anymore (thank you Jesus). I do have my days when I just want to curl up with a good book and not think about teaching math or grammar or phonics.
It takes me a few weeks every.single.year to find my groove.
I'm thankful for other homeschooling moms who understand.
Never underestimate what chocolate can do. On those really hard days, I sneak into my room, lock the door and eat a piece of my secret stash of chocolate or eat an Oreo Cookie =)
I can relate also. Many of my friends go out to lunch, and I don't usually get to go with them. That always makes me sad. I get over it. I love teaching my children.
Even though those feeling come, they are never strong enough to make me quit homeschooling. I would have to imagine that I'd be bored after a week or so, and would miss them terribly.
I can relate. Although those feelings usually appear when we're going through a rough patch. lol
I'm also blessed with a group of homeschooling friends so we do go out to lunch on occasion, kids in tow. Hang in there. It's totally normal. I don't really get the alone time I need to recharge but God has managed to get me through it without any casualties.
I can totally relate, mama. I *might* have even done a little recon on our local public schools and checked out their school schedule in July. However...it will just mean earlier mornings, homework at night and I will still have to train them to do their work, be obedient, do their chores etc. In the end, like you, I know that God has called me to this path. I am just praying that I learn what it is that he wants me to know!
My oldest 4 kids went to public school. Having seen the difference and knowing what all PS entails, no I do not think of sending my youngest 4 there.
However, I get a different kind of blues. I hate to see summer end, I get overwhelmed by new curriculum and it always seems to take too long to get back into a groove. I miss the school free days of summer!
Ironically, every year I say we will try schooling through the summer, but that never quite works out! Hehe :) A little review here and there is about all that gets done.
I have days like that too. In fact, it has been just in the last 4 months or so that the good days have finally started outweighing the bad. I have days where I, literally, "take the day off" and turn on the TV for my kids and pretty much leave them to run amok all day while I do a project, read a book, play on the computer or doze on the couch! :) It works. Oh, and I second what Homeschooling6 said.
Thanks, ladies, for relating! I needed that. :)
I know if the kids were in school I'd be working away from home full time. I don't miss that. We are slowly starting back, but this morning the kids are still asleep. I may even let them swim when they wake up. :)
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